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Life changes at 18

IMG_9562This week was a very special week, it was the week our boy turned 18… how the heck did that happen! turning Eighteen is a BIG deal, not just from our emotional parent perspective but from Danny’s also. Eighteen is a magical birthday, it’s a milestone that comes with lots of privileges and also lots of responsibility. Our boy can vote, get married, drive and lots of other big and wonderful options that are out there in the big wide world. new doors have now opened for Danny and lots more options and responsibility are now oozing out at him.

Our boy no longer requires our parental permission for anything, he is now fully responsible for his own decisions even his health, it’s kinda scary for us as a parent to loose all this control/say over night just like that. Obviously we will still be there helping and guiding Danny, but only now if he is wanting/asking for help as he is an adult now and the responsibility is his, we can only sort things for him now with his permission.

We have to adjust to a lot of changes now, we now have to:

Stand back and see him as the Adult he now is

Let him lead and just stay in the distance for when needed

Ask how can we help

Remind him we are always here to help when needed……ALWAYS!

Give guidance where/when we can

And this is just a few changes, where before we would be the ones in control just doing things naturally, we now have to have Danny’s permission and its kind of strange.

Anyone got any tips on helping us to adjust to this situation and guide Danny into these BIG changes? I know things will settle and we will adjust given time but it is just a strange feeling…..a very strange feeling, our boy is now an adult.

Is there anything you done at 18 that you wish you hadn’t and could go back and change/do differently?

4 Comments

  • Rachel

    07/11/2014

    I wonder if that is how my mum felt when I turned 18, given there is almost 4 years age gap between my sister and I x

  • Sew White

    07/11/2014

    I loved being 18 so much! I think it does feel like suddenly being a grown up. It was nice.

  • Elaine Livingstone

    07/11/2014

    I never really thought about being 18, it just sort of came and went. But yes they do have to be taken into account and their opinions listened to, but we all do that anyway. It is difficult to all of a sudden be an adult under the same roof as they just keep carrying on being them.
    I think you just keep being there for them, and offering advise when it is asked for rather than jumping in first, But that has to work 2 ways he has to be mature enough to say I am going out will be back at X o’clock, or yes I will be in for tea or I wont be etc etc, common decency works both ways.

  • pantomum

    07/11/2014

    Tbh even though my eldest is only 15 and I don’t have an 18 year old, I would imagine that by the time he turns 18 it will be a bit of a relief. The teenage years are years in which they test you, they cut their teeth on you in terms of expressing opinions and attitudes, they try you beyond belief, and yet as the adult you can still hold up your hand and say Enough is Enough. When he turns 18 I will reiterate the points you make so succinctly above, and hopefully, like your son, he will be able to foray ahead into the outside world with the knowledge that he can make decisions right and wrong, and can rely on our support, and yes, there may be a little tear on my part. Great post!

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