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How to Improve Your Relationship by Setting Goals for Couples Counseling

How to Improve Your Relationship by Setting Goals for Couples Counseling

***Collaborative post***

When you get into a relationship, especially a marriage, you’ll need to understand the importance of mindful marriage. This long-term commitment comes with a lot of costs, such as having to take risks, give, and be out of your comfort zone. While some marriages were simply not meant to be, others just need some help through couples counseling. Throughout the years, this form of counseling has has a negative stigma, but it’s been slowly becoming more normalised. One of the more popular practices in couples counseling is setting up goals for the couple to achieve.

Why Set Goals for Couples Counseling?

Couples counseling can help couples to work through their problems and achieve their goals. However, some couples might be hesitant to set goals for their counseling sessions. Some people might think that setting goals will make the counselors focus on achieving them rather than on the couple’s overall good. 

The goal-setting process is a collaborative one between the couple and the counselor, so neither of these concerns are valid. The process is about finding what your couple wants out of life, what they believe in, and working towards achieving those things together. Overall, this can be a good way to get the couple’s foot started on the right path.

Setting Your Relationship Goals

Setting your relationship goals is a great way to ensure that you are both on the same page. It will make it easier for you to communicate your expectations and create an environment that is conducive to healthy relationships. So, what about the goal that needs to be set? The goal of setting your relationship goals should be to have a balance between what you want from the relationship and what you are willing to give.

It is important to set clear and attainable goals so that both parties can work towards them together. Just like an individual needs to set goals for themselves, a wedding is a union, you both need to think about each other and the best for each other. This can only work if both get involved.

What are the Biggest Obstacles When it Comes to Goal-Setting in Couples Counseling?

The biggest obstacle to goal-setting success is that people often don’t know what they want. It’s hard enough to set goals when you have a clear idea of what your dream is, but it’s even harder when you don’t. There are many steps couples counselors can take to make the process easier and more successful. 

The most important thing is to start the conversation early on in the counseling session so that they can get a better idea of where their partner is coming from and what their goals are. Clear communication with your partner has to be involved in this as well.

The Dos and Don’ts of Goal Setting in Couple Counseling

Like any session during couples therapy, there is going to be some do’s and don’t’s and this is going to include goal setting as well.

Do’s:

-Set goals that are specific, measurable, and realistic.

-Set short-term and long-term goals.

-Set your own personal goal as well as your partner’s goal.

-Set a timeline for achieving the goal, such as a three-month period of time or six months to one year.

Don’ts:

-Don’t set vague goals like “improve communication” or “make more effort” without specifying what exactly you mean by these terms in terms of concrete actions or behaviors

-Don’t lie to yourself or to your partner, this includes the counselor as well.

These could also vary depending on the marriage and how the communication within the marriage is as well. Overall, couples counseling is serious, it’s meant to help the couple, and setting up goals together can strengthen the bond.

relationship

How To Build Trust With A Partner

How To Build Trust With A Partner

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You can’t have a healthy marriage or relationship with trust. However, most of us can think of a time when our trust has been broken. How do we develop trust in the first place? Can you rebuild the trust that has been broken?

Be True To Your Word And Follow Through With Your Actions

To build trust, your partner has to believe what you say. Keep in mind that being trustworthy means keeping the promises that you make, and not making any promises that you know you can’t keep. 

Keeping your word, whether it’s a small thing like doing the dishes when you promised you would or something bigger like visiting a sexual health clinic when you told a new partner you would, shows others what you expect from them in and means they will be more likely to trust you. 

Learn How To Communicate Effectively

Poor communication is one of the biggest reasons why relationships break down. Good communication means being clear about what you have or haven’t committed to and what you’ve agreed on. 

Building trust does come with a risk. You will both have to take risks to prove that you are trustworthy. To do this, effective communication is essential. Without clear communication, it can be easy to misunderstand each other and cause accidental hurt. 

Remind Yourself That Trust Takes Time To Build And Earn

Building trust is a daily commitment. Don’t expect too much straight away. In order to build up trust, you will need to take small steps first and take on some smaller commitments. As trust is built, you can accept bigger commitments. Put trust into your relationship and you can get trust back in return. 

Take Time To Make Decisions And Think Before Acting Too Quickly

Only make commitments that you are actually happy to agree to. Sometimes you will have to say no, even if it causes disappointment. If you agree to something and can’t follow through with it, trust will be damaged. 

Be clear about what you have on your plate and keep track of everything you’ve agreed to. Being organised is a part of building trust with your partner as it lets you make clear decisions on whether or not you should agree to requests they make and whether you have enough time and energy.

Value The Relationships That You Have And Don’t Take Them For Granted

Trust comes from consistency. We usually have the most trust in people who are there for us in a consistent way through both bad and good times. Showing someone that you are there for them is a very effective way to build trust. 

Always Be Honest

The message that you put across to your partner should always, always be the truth. If you are caught out in telling a lie to your partner, no matter how small the lie is, your trustworthiness will be damaged, and you will need to work to rebuild it. Being honest can be tough, but make it a priority in your relationship.