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Tips For A More Mindful Marriage In This Digital Era

Tips For A More Mindful Marriage In This Digital Era
***Collaborative post***

Do you ever feel like your mind just never stops? Our hyper-connected world provides a lot of distractions in our daily lives. We live in a world where we’re all consumed by our smartphones and we find it harder and harder to concentrate on a single task without the urge to check emails, social media feeds and all sorts of notifications that might pop up. 

The practice of mindfulness has never been more paramount, than it is in this day and age. It’s very much vital for our mental well-being. But what about the effect this has on our relationships?

Often our marriages get distracted as well. There are bills to pay, chores to do, meals to prepare, and much more. Life is busy. But it shouldn’t get in the way of a great marriage.

Plan together

When you first were married, you most likely had big plans for your life. Are you meeting the goal that you made together? Remember in the early stages when it was all exciting and you were busy looking for diamond engagement rings and looking through your wedding? You need to stay as focused as you were back then on your future

Take time together on a regular basis to make plans. Mark it on your calendar so that you don’t forget to talk about the months ahead. Plan the everyday tasks and also the big things like holidays. This is also a perfect time to work on your life vision. What does it look like and how well are you doing in realising it?

Plan to have time with your partner

Not only should you plan your ongoing life together, but you should also make time for each other in your day to day lives. Life can get really busy, but every once in a while it’s a good idea to make some time that’s just for the two of you. So plan a date night and try and keep to a regular schedule. It may be once a week, once a fortnight or even once a month. Whatever works best for you, working around your commitments.

Challenge yourself to dedicate some time alone, where you are not distracted by your smartphones or the TV. Just the two of you, chatting about your day. It’ll help you reconnect and reinforce your bond.  While you’re making time for each other, you can use this opportunity to indulge your partner in their interests and learn to appreciate what makes the other one tick.

Continually learn about each other

We all change a little over time and our needs and interests change as we adapt. Make sure that you take the time to ask questions and see if you can find out something that you didn’t know about them. Chances are that you blindly assume some aspects of their personality, that you might be proven wrong on.  Even if you’ve been married for decades, there are still things you don’t know about your spouse. Take the time to find out his or her thoughts, feelings, memories, and future goals.

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gadget, Technology, wellbeing

Tech-Free Days

tech-free days

Tech-Free Days

I think we all find it hard to put down the mobile phone, step away from the tablet and avoid the hypnotic draw of the TV. Being away from technology is such a good thing for your mind and your body so why aren’t we pushing this more with our children and enjoy the benefits of tech-free days?

Tech-free days are extremely beneficial to give your little (or not so little) ones the time away from bright screens, distracting beeping and addictive games, plus the stress that comes with a life lead through social media. This is even more worrying in teenagers, especially with night-time use.

But worry not, as we’ve got some top tips to banishing tech (just for a little while) and encouraging your children to interact with the family and the world around them…

Too Much Of This

Tech-free days

Quality family time

A great rule that will ease you into this introduction to family life is: no-tech at the dinner table.

Your family mealtimes may be as short as half an hour or as long as two hours, but this simple step will give your children a small break from tech so that they can take part in real discussions with their nearest and dearest. Quality family time may seem like a bit of a bore to them, especially if their friends are playing games online or frantically messaging on WhatsApp, but establishing this staple in your home will bring you that little bit closer.

Getting back to basics

When was the last time you saw your child reading a book? In this instance, Kindle books do count but it would be better if it was an actual book to fit the no-tech theme!

Getting back to basics simply means that you should encourage your children to spend some of their time enjoying activities that you did as a child. Such as reading a book, playing outside, enjoying some quiet time colouring in, playing cards or taking part in a family board game.

If you have children that range in age significantly, then you may need to find different activities to match their specific age bracket. This might also involve separating the children into different rooms, so one can read a book in peace while another can play table tennis or give you a run for your money on the miniature pool table! A great way to divide rooms as and when needed is with internal folding doors. With very little effort, you can turn a large living/dining room into two separate spaces for different functions.

Resting the eyes

Bright screens and games can leave the eyes feeling tired and sore if overused. Too much screen time for children can be very bad for children’s eyes which we should be more careful of and monitor usage more closely. 

Making the bedroom a tech-free zone will also help to give your child a good night’s sleep, every night. Mobile phones should be placed in a drawer on silent for bedtime, tablets turned off and out of sight and there should be a strict no TV rule for an hour before they go to sleep.

Keeping the bedroom free of all distractions keeps your children in tune with what the bedroom is for: sleeping.  

Social media

Although social media has only really been around for a decade, it has changed the way most people live their lives and interact with each other. Being a child in 2016 now means having several social media profiles, having several of your pictures online and the pressure to document your life through one of the many social tools available:

Tech-Free days

    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Snapchat
    • Instagram
    • WhatsApp
  • Vine

The list goes on for the benefits of tech-free days…

Wouldn’t it be better for your child to actually meet up with their friends instead of FB messaging them? How about a trip out to the beach or the local park that doesn’t involve a selfie, checking in to the local McDonald’s and spending the time filtering your photos ready for Instagram?

Not Enough Of This

Tech-free days

For the very young children, this won’t be as much of an issue but their introduction to social media will mark their entrance into a world that encourages every movement to be documented. Is it not the job of a parent to delay that for as long as possible?
Tech-free days will do so much to helping your children to have a rest break from social media, TV, games and internet browsing. It will encourage more quality family time, will help them to discover the joys of getting back to basics and will help them to interact with the world around them, not just the world from their mobile phone.

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