Browse Tag by mindful marriage
Lifestyle

Has Your Spouse Lost Interest In You?

Has Your Spouse Lost Interest In You?

***Collaborative post***

Maintaining a mindful marriage is not easy. It means looking at and appreciating the good in your marriage, but also being wary of the bad, and taking care of those aspects before they cause a serious rift. A seeming loss of attraction, oft accompanied by a decrease in sexual intimacy in a marriage, can become a serious problem. As such, it’s worth taking the time to identify any causes that might be behind it.

Talk about physical intimacy

Sex is an everyday part of marriage and, while outside circumstances can make it a little harder to get intimate with your partner, there should still be signs of physical and emotional affection that aren’t necessarily for the bedroom alone. If your partner doesn’t cuddle, kiss, or show simple physical intimacy, then it may be because of deeper reasons. They might feel their own sex drive changing with age, for instance. However, there can also be physical and emotional health issues at the root of it, too.

The question of mental health

Mental health issues of all stripes can affect our desire and ability to feel sexual attraction. Depression has been known to decrease sex drive drastically and stress may mean that someone is too focused on minor problems in their life to “get into the mood.” If your partner has been changing, it may be a sign that they need to seek help, rather than a change to do with you.

Sexual dysfunction is a real threat

Aside from the mental health issues that can affect our desire to be intimate, sexual health is another aspect that is worth addressing. For instance, a surprisingly frequent issue in marriages where physical intimacy becomes rarer and rarer is pornography addiction. Not only can it mean that a partner never shows interest in real intimate contact, but it can affect your feeling of self-esteem and self-worth as a partner. Addictions of all kinds can destroy marriages, so it’s important to address them and treat them thoroughly.

Have you changed?

Self-reflection can be difficult and it’s important to ensure that it does not turn into self-blame. However, if you have experienced excessive weight gain since the beginning of the marriage, it can affect the attraction of your partner to you. Furthermore, it may have affected your own self-esteem. You might notice that your partner doesn’t initiate as much, but it could be the case that you haven’t noticed your behaviour has changed in the same way.

Remind your partner why they were interested in you

Marriage changes a relationship, turning it from something that’s purely attraction-driven into a partnership that’s as practical as it is passionate. Taking the time to date your partner can help you both rediscover what it is that drew you both to one another, helping to rekindle things in the bedroom and beyond.

It might hurt to look into the reasons why your partner isn’t showing the kind of interest that they may have done, before. However, it’s worth identifying reality through honest and empathetic communication. You may, after all, be mistaken and find another reason for the shift in your marriage.

Technology, Top tips

Tips For A More Mindful Marriage In This Digital Era

Tips For A More Mindful Marriage In This Digital Era
***Collaborative post***

Do you ever feel like your mind just never stops? Our hyper-connected world provides a lot of distractions in our daily lives. We live in a world where we’re all consumed by our smartphones and we find it harder and harder to concentrate on a single task without the urge to check emails, social media feeds and all sorts of notifications that might pop up. 

The practice of mindfulness has never been more paramount, than it is in this day and age. It’s very much vital for our mental well-being. But what about the effect this has on our relationships?

Often our marriages get distracted as well. There are bills to pay, chores to do, meals to prepare, and much more. Life is busy. But it shouldn’t get in the way of a great marriage.

Plan together

When you first were married, you most likely had big plans for your life. Are you meeting the goal that you made together? Remember in the early stages when it was all exciting and you were busy looking for diamond engagement rings and looking through your wedding? You need to stay as focused as you were back then on your future

Take time together on a regular basis to make plans. Mark it on your calendar so that you don’t forget to talk about the months ahead. Plan the everyday tasks and also the big things like holidays. This is also a perfect time to work on your life vision. What does it look like and how well are you doing in realising it?

Plan to have time with your partner

Not only should you plan your ongoing life together, but you should also make time for each other in your day to day lives. Life can get really busy, but every once in a while it’s a good idea to make some time that’s just for the two of you. So plan a date night and try and keep to a regular schedule. It may be once a week, once a fortnight or even once a month. Whatever works best for you, working around your commitments.

Challenge yourself to dedicate some time alone, where you are not distracted by your smartphones or the TV. Just the two of you, chatting about your day. It’ll help you reconnect and reinforce your bond.  While you’re making time for each other, you can use this opportunity to indulge your partner in their interests and learn to appreciate what makes the other one tick.

Continually learn about each other

We all change a little over time and our needs and interests change as we adapt. Make sure that you take the time to ask questions and see if you can find out something that you didn’t know about them. Chances are that you blindly assume some aspects of their personality, that you might be proven wrong on.  Even if you’ve been married for decades, there are still things you don’t know about your spouse. Take the time to find out his or her thoughts, feelings, memories, and future goals.